Signals

I have the great honor of mentoring some pretty incredible people. During a recent meeting with one of them, we worked through an extremely tough conversation she needs to have with her manager. At the end of us practicing, I said, "And then you sit there and be silent and wait for him to respond which will be really hard because it's going to be awkward but do it anyway. Don't try to fill the void; just let it hang there. Your job isn't to save him or brush your concerns aside because of the potential discomfort." But how to remember something that is so counter to our nature, especially in the midst of an emotionally-charged situation?? I am a big fan of signals. I use them all over my house and at work to remind me to take care of things or trigger a desired behavior. "Put a small symbol or something at the top of your notepad," I told her. "Something that reminds you to stop talking when you've said what you need to say." As people (and especially as women) we are taught to fill, not use, silence... but sometimes it's exactly what you need to leverage in order to finally be heard.