“Nice” and “Helpful”

Last week I got to travel to Spain for Amazon. I was part of a team debriefing 360 feedback reports with senior managers participating in an international leadership program. I count this type of work in the top five things I love to do professionally. It is the perfect blend of quantitative data and extreme vulnerability all rolled into one moment in time. It’s pretty damn great. One of my favorite things to say after a person has reviewed their report is, “talk to me about the trends you’ve noticed in terms of how others see you.” To which many women have replied over the years, “I saw a lot of ‘nice’ and ‘helpful’.” It makes sense... we’re rewarded for those characteristics; it feels good to know that we’re showing up in a way that makes others feel supported. However, when I ask how “nice” and “helpful” compare to how they want to be known, I begin hearing different words, like “expert” and “strategic.” So we get to work, finding ways to highlight contributions that are being overshadowed by gender bias. 360 feedback gives us the opportunity to change the way our immediate world sees us, and in these cases, how the greater world sees women’s contributions in the workplace. Never miss a chance to grow, or change the narrative. You have more power than you (or they) may think.